People always say that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. That tough times build character. That we're never given more than we can handle. I don't believe this to be true for every case.
Life is tough sometimes. We get tested over and over again and are faced with difficult decisions, thrown into the line of fire and have to deal with one of the hardest things ever, heartbreak.
It seems cliche to talk about love and heartbreak when talking about being stronger, but it's a real thing. Something that I just don't think always makes a person stronger or something that everyone knows how to handle.
Being hurt by someone you love is immense. Heartbreak can scar us. Make us feel inadequate. It can put thoughts in our head of, "what's wrong with me?" or "why didn't I leave sooner?" And the truth is, not everyone comes out on top when wronged. We love someone, trust that person to take care of our hearts but in some cases we make the wrong decision with the wrong person.
People have done some crazy - and stupid - things in the name of love. There have been fights, property damages, injuries and sometimes even deaths, all because someone was hurt by the person they most trusted. How in these cases did the one being hurt become stronger after what they had been through? Granted those are extreme cases, but it still happens.
Then you have the simplest repercussions. Maybe the person develops trust issues (not a trait of a strong person), or they never get over the one who hurt them and is never really happy again (what kind of character is this?). No matter what, the person suffers. Maybe he throws himself at other women just to try to get over her instead of being upfront and honest about his feelings, only adding to her heartache. Maybe she cries herself to sleep every night, not because she misses him but because of the pain he caused her. No matter the situation, it seems the person that was wronged always seems to finish last.
And this, in no way, makes everyone stronger.
So the next time you meet someone and they seem unhappy, or something just doesn't seem right. Think about what you may not know about them. The next person you go on a date with may seem to have a wall up, but think again about what you don't know. Maybe they're trying to find that strength that is said will come, they're trying to find the character they should be or just trying to convince themselves that life is going to be okay and they can handle anything. No matter the case, just remember, we all get our hearts broken. And we have to deal with it in our own way. Whether or not we become a stronger person.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Sunday, March 28, 2010
It feels better to win when you don't cheat.
All last week Democrats in Washington were threatening to use the self-executing rule to ensure health care reform legislation be passed through the House of Representatives. Luckily, by Saturday morning, they decided this act of “ramming” – to use a term often used to describe this situation – the proposed bill was not the right move. This was the smartest move Democrats could have made in this situation.
The first and foremost reason it was smart for Democrats to wipe away the self-executing rule also known as ‘deem and pass,’ ‘Slaughter Rule,’ or ‘Slaughter Solution,’ is that it is way too slippery of a slope when deciding just how constitutional it is. There was such an uproar deciding whether or not using this strategy would be legal that there no doubt would have been even greater pickets and possible riots than there are right now going on outside the Capitol, even though this strategy wasn’t even used. It’s kind of like playing the game Operation when you were a kid – you hope you can pull out the right parts and not hit the outer edge but you always did, and had Democrats tried to pull ‘deem and pass’ off, they would have definitely hit the edge of the Constitution, if not fall completely out of line.
Section 1 Article 7 of the United State Constitution specifically states that, “Every bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate,” clearly stating that both the Senate and the House must pass it, or vote on it, in order for it to make it to the desk of the president for him to sign it. The bottom line is that this so-called ‘deem and pass’ rule is unconstitutional – combining multiple items to be voted on is not a way around this very specific wording in the Constitution.
Another reason it was a smart move deals with simple morals. Sure, Republicans have been known to use this self executing rule in the past, but does that make it right? For example, Rules Committee Chairman from 2005-06 David Dreier used the self-executing rule more than 35 times. Former Speaker Newt Gingrich used the self-executing rule 38 times in the 104th Congress and 52 times in the 105h Congress, from years 1995-98. Former Senate Majority Leader Dr. Bill Frist justified using this action and ridiculed the minority – Democrats – for calling it the “nuclear option,” yet another name for this type of vote. Just because it’s been done in the past doesn’t mean the Democrats should have done it – two wrongs don’t make a right.
Many Republicans and critics of the health care reform legislation argue that using the self-executing rule for such an enormous piece of legislation, one that will not only affect one-sixth of the American people but essentially everyone, is what would have made it so wrong. But the bottom line is it is unconstitutional. It does not matter the reasons behind using this rule – all that matters is that it should not happen. Would you condemn one child molester more than another because he or she may have preyed on more children than the other? No. You would not allow the lesser of the two evils to get away with something just because one was worse, because no matter to what degree you look at it is wrong.
Democrats, had they used the self-executing rule, would have ruined their credibility in the health care debate. By deciding not to do the two-for-one vote on Sunday, they proved that health care reform was a legit debate, and that they could win it fair and square. What better way to prove you’re right by doing something the legit and right way, and still be able to get it done?
The health care reform legislation is enormous. It is being compared to the impacts of Social Security, the Civil Rights Act and Medicare. Had Democrats chosen to use ‘deem and pass,’ they would have ruined chances at truly being able to be compared with other historic legislations.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made the right call when deciding to put an end to the possibility of using the self-executing rule. Hopefully it gives Democrats a little more credibility and put them in a little more positive light. By being able to achieve such a historic moment, with something so incredible, the way our Constitution clearly states it should be, President Barack Obama and Madame Speaker Pelosi have shown that hard work and passion truly do pay off.
The first and foremost reason it was smart for Democrats to wipe away the self-executing rule also known as ‘deem and pass,’ ‘Slaughter Rule,’ or ‘Slaughter Solution,’ is that it is way too slippery of a slope when deciding just how constitutional it is. There was such an uproar deciding whether or not using this strategy would be legal that there no doubt would have been even greater pickets and possible riots than there are right now going on outside the Capitol, even though this strategy wasn’t even used. It’s kind of like playing the game Operation when you were a kid – you hope you can pull out the right parts and not hit the outer edge but you always did, and had Democrats tried to pull ‘deem and pass’ off, they would have definitely hit the edge of the Constitution, if not fall completely out of line.
Section 1 Article 7 of the United State Constitution specifically states that, “Every bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate,” clearly stating that both the Senate and the House must pass it, or vote on it, in order for it to make it to the desk of the president for him to sign it. The bottom line is that this so-called ‘deem and pass’ rule is unconstitutional – combining multiple items to be voted on is not a way around this very specific wording in the Constitution.
Another reason it was a smart move deals with simple morals. Sure, Republicans have been known to use this self executing rule in the past, but does that make it right? For example, Rules Committee Chairman from 2005-06 David Dreier used the self-executing rule more than 35 times. Former Speaker Newt Gingrich used the self-executing rule 38 times in the 104th Congress and 52 times in the 105h Congress, from years 1995-98. Former Senate Majority Leader Dr. Bill Frist justified using this action and ridiculed the minority – Democrats – for calling it the “nuclear option,” yet another name for this type of vote. Just because it’s been done in the past doesn’t mean the Democrats should have done it – two wrongs don’t make a right.
Many Republicans and critics of the health care reform legislation argue that using the self-executing rule for such an enormous piece of legislation, one that will not only affect one-sixth of the American people but essentially everyone, is what would have made it so wrong. But the bottom line is it is unconstitutional. It does not matter the reasons behind using this rule – all that matters is that it should not happen. Would you condemn one child molester more than another because he or she may have preyed on more children than the other? No. You would not allow the lesser of the two evils to get away with something just because one was worse, because no matter to what degree you look at it is wrong.
Democrats, had they used the self-executing rule, would have ruined their credibility in the health care debate. By deciding not to do the two-for-one vote on Sunday, they proved that health care reform was a legit debate, and that they could win it fair and square. What better way to prove you’re right by doing something the legit and right way, and still be able to get it done?
The health care reform legislation is enormous. It is being compared to the impacts of Social Security, the Civil Rights Act and Medicare. Had Democrats chosen to use ‘deem and pass,’ they would have ruined chances at truly being able to be compared with other historic legislations.
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi made the right call when deciding to put an end to the possibility of using the self-executing rule. Hopefully it gives Democrats a little more credibility and put them in a little more positive light. By being able to achieve such a historic moment, with something so incredible, the way our Constitution clearly states it should be, President Barack Obama and Madame Speaker Pelosi have shown that hard work and passion truly do pay off.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Dr. Suess is quite brilliant actually...
I used to be unaware of who I really was. It seemed as though I was constantly searching for a lifestyle and for something to enjoy and be involved in. I was endlessly jumping from one extreme to another. The changes seemed to always be triggered depending on who I was around. If I hung out with or talked to someone who was engaged, dressed in J. Crew and lived a simple life going to church every Sunday and Wednesday, I felt that if I tried to live their life, I might be happy like them. Or if I went out with some wild and crazy friends I felt that maybe that was the life for me, never really settling down and always going out for late nights on the weekends, and sometimes weekdays.
But then I figured it out.
Over time I have been able to truly figure out what I enjoy and where I stand on many issues. I have reached a perfect medium with myself and my surroundings. I love tattoos and piercings, going out with friends every now and then and having one too many drinks once in a blue moon. But I also am proud to say I have never fallen into drugs, enjoy attending a rockin’ good church from time to time and love to just hang out at home sometimes.
I am strong in my convictions and because of this I enjoy a good debate from time to time and can vote without any doubts. I have learned that it does not matter as much how you dress and what you enjoy, as long as you are true to yourself you will find the friends that are right for you. There is no sense in trying so hard to fit in somewhere. We will all fit in somewhere perfectly if we just stop trying so hard.
"Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."
I am pleased with who I am now and where I am in my life. I would not have it any other way. Life is good. No, it’s fabulous!
But then I figured it out.
Over time I have been able to truly figure out what I enjoy and where I stand on many issues. I have reached a perfect medium with myself and my surroundings. I love tattoos and piercings, going out with friends every now and then and having one too many drinks once in a blue moon. But I also am proud to say I have never fallen into drugs, enjoy attending a rockin’ good church from time to time and love to just hang out at home sometimes.
I am strong in my convictions and because of this I enjoy a good debate from time to time and can vote without any doubts. I have learned that it does not matter as much how you dress and what you enjoy, as long as you are true to yourself you will find the friends that are right for you. There is no sense in trying so hard to fit in somewhere. We will all fit in somewhere perfectly if we just stop trying so hard.
"Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."
I am pleased with who I am now and where I am in my life. I would not have it any other way. Life is good. No, it’s fabulous!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Like All Things Shiny
Like all things shiny, a person can begin to fade and dull with time. The bracelet from your loved one, after some wear, needs to be cleaned, as does the brand new pair of the white sneakers you bought to jog through the neighborhood in. But unlike these material possessions, a person cannot be polished, washed or wiped clean of the fading and scratches that have occurred over time.
But like some material things, like the dress you bought thinking it would be perfect for that cocktail party but ended up making you look frumpy or the belt you purchased that ended up not matching your shoes as nicely as you had hoped, people turn out to be not exactly what you originally thought. The new guy you have been on three dates with may seem to practice chivalry by opening doors for you and may seem to share the same beliefs as you. That girl you met at the wedding seemed like a fun party girl who can hang out all night.
In reality though, there are so many more things that can make or break a relationship. Does he start to seem to get jealous whenever you mention a guy friend’s or classmates’ name? Does she seem as though she begins to whine when you have to leave her for a softball game each Thursday night? Or do they just not act as though they even care where you are, whom you are with or what you are doing?
For each person it’s different. And for each person it is a challenge. Picking up on and noticing the differences in people from who you thought they were and who they turn out to be is extremely difficult, not to mention excruciating painful to your emotions, especially if you are already hooked.
You thought he was always going to be mushy and lovey-dovey, until a few months in and he begins to forget to say “I love you” when he is around his guy friends. She seemed like the type to let you live your life the way you had been with one night a week playing poker with the guys but she begins to worry and wonder who is actually there, “are there ever any girls are there?” These things tend to creep up on a person, all of a sudden poking their little head around the corner one day saying, “Psst! Hey! This person is actually a complete troll compared to what you thought. Might want to run.”
Then comes the hard part; to stay or not to stay?
But like some material things, like the dress you bought thinking it would be perfect for that cocktail party but ended up making you look frumpy or the belt you purchased that ended up not matching your shoes as nicely as you had hoped, people turn out to be not exactly what you originally thought. The new guy you have been on three dates with may seem to practice chivalry by opening doors for you and may seem to share the same beliefs as you. That girl you met at the wedding seemed like a fun party girl who can hang out all night.
In reality though, there are so many more things that can make or break a relationship. Does he start to seem to get jealous whenever you mention a guy friend’s or classmates’ name? Does she seem as though she begins to whine when you have to leave her for a softball game each Thursday night? Or do they just not act as though they even care where you are, whom you are with or what you are doing?
For each person it’s different. And for each person it is a challenge. Picking up on and noticing the differences in people from who you thought they were and who they turn out to be is extremely difficult, not to mention excruciating painful to your emotions, especially if you are already hooked.
You thought he was always going to be mushy and lovey-dovey, until a few months in and he begins to forget to say “I love you” when he is around his guy friends. She seemed like the type to let you live your life the way you had been with one night a week playing poker with the guys but she begins to worry and wonder who is actually there, “are there ever any girls are there?” These things tend to creep up on a person, all of a sudden poking their little head around the corner one day saying, “Psst! Hey! This person is actually a complete troll compared to what you thought. Might want to run.”
Then comes the hard part; to stay or not to stay?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)