I used to be unaware of who I really was. It seemed as though I was constantly searching for a lifestyle and for something to enjoy and be involved in. I was endlessly jumping from one extreme to another. The changes seemed to always be triggered depending on who I was around. If I hung out with or talked to someone who was engaged, dressed in J. Crew and lived a simple life going to church every Sunday and Wednesday, I felt that if I tried to live their life, I might be happy like them. Or if I went out with some wild and crazy friends I felt that maybe that was the life for me, never really settling down and always going out for late nights on the weekends, and sometimes weekdays.
But then I figured it out.
Over time I have been able to truly figure out what I enjoy and where I stand on many issues. I have reached a perfect medium with myself and my surroundings. I love tattoos and piercings, going out with friends every now and then and having one too many drinks once in a blue moon. But I also am proud to say I have never fallen into drugs, enjoy attending a rockin’ good church from time to time and love to just hang out at home sometimes.
I am strong in my convictions and because of this I enjoy a good debate from time to time and can vote without any doubts. I have learned that it does not matter as much how you dress and what you enjoy, as long as you are true to yourself you will find the friends that are right for you. There is no sense in trying so hard to fit in somewhere. We will all fit in somewhere perfectly if we just stop trying so hard.
"Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."
I am pleased with who I am now and where I am in my life. I would not have it any other way. Life is good. No, it’s fabulous!
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Like All Things Shiny
Like all things shiny, a person can begin to fade and dull with time. The bracelet from your loved one, after some wear, needs to be cleaned, as does the brand new pair of the white sneakers you bought to jog through the neighborhood in. But unlike these material possessions, a person cannot be polished, washed or wiped clean of the fading and scratches that have occurred over time.
But like some material things, like the dress you bought thinking it would be perfect for that cocktail party but ended up making you look frumpy or the belt you purchased that ended up not matching your shoes as nicely as you had hoped, people turn out to be not exactly what you originally thought. The new guy you have been on three dates with may seem to practice chivalry by opening doors for you and may seem to share the same beliefs as you. That girl you met at the wedding seemed like a fun party girl who can hang out all night.
In reality though, there are so many more things that can make or break a relationship. Does he start to seem to get jealous whenever you mention a guy friend’s or classmates’ name? Does she seem as though she begins to whine when you have to leave her for a softball game each Thursday night? Or do they just not act as though they even care where you are, whom you are with or what you are doing?
For each person it’s different. And for each person it is a challenge. Picking up on and noticing the differences in people from who you thought they were and who they turn out to be is extremely difficult, not to mention excruciating painful to your emotions, especially if you are already hooked.
You thought he was always going to be mushy and lovey-dovey, until a few months in and he begins to forget to say “I love you” when he is around his guy friends. She seemed like the type to let you live your life the way you had been with one night a week playing poker with the guys but she begins to worry and wonder who is actually there, “are there ever any girls are there?” These things tend to creep up on a person, all of a sudden poking their little head around the corner one day saying, “Psst! Hey! This person is actually a complete troll compared to what you thought. Might want to run.”
Then comes the hard part; to stay or not to stay?
But like some material things, like the dress you bought thinking it would be perfect for that cocktail party but ended up making you look frumpy or the belt you purchased that ended up not matching your shoes as nicely as you had hoped, people turn out to be not exactly what you originally thought. The new guy you have been on three dates with may seem to practice chivalry by opening doors for you and may seem to share the same beliefs as you. That girl you met at the wedding seemed like a fun party girl who can hang out all night.
In reality though, there are so many more things that can make or break a relationship. Does he start to seem to get jealous whenever you mention a guy friend’s or classmates’ name? Does she seem as though she begins to whine when you have to leave her for a softball game each Thursday night? Or do they just not act as though they even care where you are, whom you are with or what you are doing?
For each person it’s different. And for each person it is a challenge. Picking up on and noticing the differences in people from who you thought they were and who they turn out to be is extremely difficult, not to mention excruciating painful to your emotions, especially if you are already hooked.
You thought he was always going to be mushy and lovey-dovey, until a few months in and he begins to forget to say “I love you” when he is around his guy friends. She seemed like the type to let you live your life the way you had been with one night a week playing poker with the guys but she begins to worry and wonder who is actually there, “are there ever any girls are there?” These things tend to creep up on a person, all of a sudden poking their little head around the corner one day saying, “Psst! Hey! This person is actually a complete troll compared to what you thought. Might want to run.”
Then comes the hard part; to stay or not to stay?
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